What is love?
The story goes that a group of professionals asked children between the ages of 4 and 8 “What does love mean?” Their answers have circulated via e-mail and the Internet. Many versions exist; perhaps some have been added or omitted, or perhaps the story was not true to begin with. Whatever the case, the answers are heartwarming.
I have often puzzled over the question “What is love?” Everybody seems to have their own idea of what “love” is. A definition for love eludes me, because most discussion about love is descriptive (like writing a poem describing a flower), rather than definitive and compact (like a dictionary definition or a mathematical equation).
People get into relationships because they think they are “in love,” and break up because they think they are no longer “in love.” But what if two people really love each other, but they have wrong or confused ideas about what love is? What if society has taught them that “love” means one thing, when really it means something much different? I believe this happens a lot, and is the cause of much suffering. If only people had the proper perspective on what love really means, they wouldn’t cause each other so much grief.
I don’t have a definition for love. I don’t even know if it’s possible to define love. All I know is that love means unquestioning acceptance of the other person, unquestioning dedication to their happiness, and trust beyond trust. Without these things, love cannot thrive.
Hello, please elaborate “But what if two people really love each other, but they have wrong or confused ideas about what love is? What if society has taught them that “love” means one thing, when really it means something much different?”. Thanks
When I wrote this, I had specific examples in mind.
What if two people love each other very much, but one person has feelings of uncertainty and doubt? What if these feelings are strong enough to make the person believe that they are “not in love,” so they break up? This person is breaking up because of wrong ideas about love. Relationships always have a factor of uncertainty and doubt.
In today’s mass-media driven culture, it is easy to pick up all kinds of wrongheaded ideas about love. From watching movies and TV, one tends to think that love is this magical feeling that leads to only wonderful and beautiful things. The reality is, this feeling comes and goes, and relationships don’t always go smoothly. Love takes a lot of time, patience, and learning.
I like this “All I know is that love means unquestioning acceptance of the other person, unquestioning dedication to their happiness, and trust beyond trust. ”
If you can give love a definition, it won’t be charming any more. Sometimes we find something more attractive when it is uncertain.
Qing, I like your comment!
According to bible:
“Love is very patient and kind, never jealous or envious, never boastful or proud.
Love is never haughty or selfish or rude.
Love does not demand it’s own way. Love is not irritable or touchy. Love does not hold grudges and will hardly notice when others do it wrong.
Love is never glad about injustice, but rejoices whenever truth wins out.
If you love someone, you will be loyal to them no matter what the costs. You will always believe in them, always expect the best in them, and will always stand your ground in defending them.”
~ Eunice
Whenever we are talking about love, we have a lot of things to say. ^_^ Anyway, both of us are lucky, because we have someone who loves us and loved by us.
I can not stand my ugly English anymore. I choose to remain silence and feel Simon’s love by heart
haha
Some people also talk about different kinds of love, like towards your family, to make it different to love towards your couple.
I don’t like to give love magical-like connotations. I think love towards another person can grow, change form, imply different thing in time, etc. Because people change, see things differently in time and value new things with every new experience as they grow. The love my father feels for my mother is very different and much richer than the love I felt for my first formal girlfriend, for example. I was 18, my vision of life was fairly limited, but I loved her very much, I felt “unquestioning acceptance of the other person, unquestioning dedication to their happiness, and trust beyond trust” (yeah, maybe it was a bit too much for my age but then…) and that was also love, and it should not be underestimated or not-regarded-as love because I was too young or something.
Love is something that is built on time, it starts as fascination towards someone, it grows, changes and can develop into a very rich set of feelings strengthened by particular experiences. It’s hard to pin down as a concept because it just contemplates too many aspects of the human nature, and because it can be different according to the values of the beholder. To try to summarize it seems inadequate. And that just makes it greater, much more interesting and worthy than any “magical” perception of love that people usually has.
We have to be flexible and be very open minded when talking about love and all its forms.